Theoretical Background

It seemed every time I looked up how to heal from trauma and suicidality, I kept finding some version of Judith Herman’s “Recovery from psychological trauma.” Essentially, Herman believes that one recovers through reconstructing social relationships that were destroyed due to trauma in three stages:

1. Establishment of safety (emotionally, in the mind and body, and environmentally);

2. Remembrance and mourning / Retelling the story of the traumatic event (coming to terms with what has happened); and

3. Reconnecting with others (relationships and pursuing purpose).

Now that I would describe myself as 95% healed, I look at Herman’s formula and find it straight forward and quite palatable. (See the end of this post for a fabulous quote by Herman.) 

But when I was scrolling at 4am in states of extreme distress, desperately seeking answers online, I could never easily identify exactly which of these ‘stages’ I fit into, and therefore could not quite figure out what I should do next. I had no sense of how far along I was in my recovery journey and could not garner any sense of hope or assurance that I was taking the “appropriate steps” needed to heal as efficiently as possible.

The Recovery Wheel

To make “the formula” helpful in a way I wish I had found online those many desperate nights, we need indicators so we can measure progress. Because the indicators are so interconnected, there is no way to distinguish which of the components each belongs to, and so they are best represented as a wheel made of eight distinct yet equally important spokes. 

Below you will find a description and examples of each spoke on the Recovery Wheel: 

1. Remove Harms from self, others, and environment

Examples: Replace self-harming behaviors (working to exhaustion, alcohol misuse) with healthier coping strategies (rest and relaxation, talk therapy); leave a toxic relationship; reduce consumption of triggering media content; remove suicide methods from home.

2. Reduce Pressures from self, others, and environment

Examples: Practice self-compassion by lowering expectations for constant productivity; set boundaries with or get distance from overbearing family members; allow some tasks to go undone or outsource household responsibilities (cleaning, cooking, childcare). 

3. Autonomy to make your own decisions on what feels safe, healing, fulfilling, and exciting

Examples: Plan the vacation you’ve been wanting to go on; get a new therapist if your current one doesn’t feel like a good fit; cancel the plans you're dreading.

4. Alignment make decisions and take action toward what feels safe, healing, fulfilling, and exciting

Examples: Eat the foods you’re craving; sleep when tired; cry when you’re sad; get out of the house when you’re bored; apply for the exciting job.

5. Financial Security to maximize down time or to take action on plans

Examples: Apply for paid sick leave from work, apply for Social Security disability benefits, ask supporters to cover cost of a specific expense (hotel for a week away, next month’s rent, legal fees).

6. Time to Recover away from harms and pressures, down time to heal, for healing activities

Examples: Plan to take time away from work and responsibilities; use sick days for mental health; take an extended sick leave from work; prioritize down time for healing rather than scrolling social media.

7. Healing Activities self-care, hobbies, therapeutic interventions

Examples: Improve eating and sleeping routines, create time for enjoyable hobbies (journal, dance, art); consider therapeutic interventions available (EMDR, ketamine therapy).

8. Plan for Better take actionable steps to creating a better life for yourself

Examples: Apply for a course to develop skills needed for a dream job; enroll in therapy to learn how to begin to cope with distress; apply for your passport for overseas travel; buy a piece of art you love to decorate your space.

I want to end by sharing a fabulous quote from Herman’s same 1998 article as referenced above: 

“No intervention that takes power away from the survivor can possibly foster her recovery, no matter how much it appears to be in her immediate best interest. Caregivers schooled in a medical model of treatment often have difficulty grasping this fundamental principle and putting it into practice.”

Sadly, this statement remains as relevant today as the day it was written.